Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman? A: Inserting the anchovies
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit? A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
Q: Did you hear about the depressed proctologist? A: He's been feeling down in the dumps.
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, "What is that?" "They're smart pills," said the other boy. "Eat them and they'll make you smarter." So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap." "See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay? A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.