Joke #6967

Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
Vote:
has 57.30 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear. She said, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!" This time, he figured he'd better look into it. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me sir, could I help you?" The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..." The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!"
Vote:
has 70.33 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people, sex, travel
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
Vote:
has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
Vote:
has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
Vote:
has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
It was the kindergarten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift. The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers". "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him. The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy." "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also. The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked. "No," said the little girl. So she tasted it again. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "Noooo," replied the little girl, "It's a puppy."
Vote:
has 71.41 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: birthday, disgusting, student, teacher, wine
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
Vote:
has 27.75 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, disgusting
What's grosser than gross? A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
Vote:
has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts. "I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!" "That’s okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway."
Vote:
has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, disgusting, family, food