How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage?
All your Hefty Bags are missing.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog?
A tourist.
Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence.
After a while he asks surprised:
Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs?
Because I used only one leg for the stock.
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her?
A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
A Bosnian catches a goldfish.
The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish."
The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color?
A: Purrrrrr-ple!
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer.
"And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer.
"That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer.
"And 40 bulls," added the farmer.
The other farmer replied, "Boy!
That IS a lot of bull."