What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? Stegosaur-rust.
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
Two neighbors are talking to each other. First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me? Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well. First neighbor: Really, well then, how? Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy. "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction." Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!" The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.
What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he cant hear you.
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
One day a teacher asked the class, "What is the difference between a bird and a fly?" A student then replied, "A bird can fly but a fly cannot bird."