What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?
Stegosaur-rust.
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What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
What's green and red?
A very mad frog.
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.
He says, “What the hell is that all about?”
The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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