Joke #2888

What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? Stegosaur-rust.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal

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The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Bear." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right. They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Elk, Shot with a 7mm Mag rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind,and went to sleep. The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. He said to his wife, "I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this blackeye?" His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe."
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has 83.41 % from 399 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, game
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Camper: "Look at that bunch of cows." Farmer: "Not bunch, herd." Camper: "Heard what?" Farmer: "Of cows." Camper: "Sure I've heard of cows." Farmer: "No, I mean a cowherd." Camper: "So what? I have no secrets from cows."
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit? A: Curly hare.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, geography
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, mean, party
A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet. A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot. He asked what the strings were for and the shopkeeper replied, "Well, if you pull the right string the parrot says, 'Polly wanna cracker'. If you pull the left string it says, 'my name's Sam'". The man being of the inquisitive nature tried both and thought it was really neat, but was still curious. So he asked what would happen if he pulled both strings, the parrot piped up, "I'd fall off the perch you idiot!"
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has 74.81 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, parrot
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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has 83.43 % from 538 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris