What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
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Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear.
The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
-Too many Cheetahs!
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines?
He drew 100 cats on the paper.
He thought the teacher had said lions.
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise?
The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, go.
Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah.
‘Hello,’ I thought.
‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’