Joke #10718

What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads.
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A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.  Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news".  "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first." The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."  The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crayfish and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share."  He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.  "Geez, thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so what's the other possible good news?" "Well", the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!"
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A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden. Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says: Mama, is that you?
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What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
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Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
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What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
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Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school? A: Bison.
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A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one What a HippoCrip.
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Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore.
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Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
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Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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