What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads.
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole? Cold cream.
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex? A. They mark the sheep that kick!
What do tigers wear in bed? Stripey pyjamas.
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking: Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one. What did you do? Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Q. What's green and red? A. A very mad frog.
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
There was this atheist and he was in the woods. And suddenly he heard some leaves cracking. He looked behind and there was a huge bear behind him. He started running and running and soon the bear was right on top of him and his paw was on top of him like he was going to swat him but suddenly he saw this big light appear and said; “For all these years you have despised me and now you call for my help.” The atheist said, “I’m sorry God. If you can’t help me, can’t you at least turn the bear into a Christian? Then the light disappeared. Then the bear knelt down and said, “Bless me Lord for this meal I’m about to receive!”