Joke #3374

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin? You come in one and you go in the other!
Vote:
has 49.55 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Vote:
has 46.07 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
Vote:
has 45.26 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
Vote:
has 71.27 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dirty, fish
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
Vote:
has 80.31 % from 528 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, dirty, kids
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
Vote:
has 37.14 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.
Vote:
has 38.04 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: church, dirty, little Johnny, sex
Why Trick-or-Treating Is Better Than Sex: - You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. - If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. - The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. - You don't have to keep in touch with the person who gives you some. - 40 years from now, you'll still enjoy candy. - If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door. - It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning with pleasure. - You can do the whole neighborhood.
Vote:
has 80.26 % from 461 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, time
A man is on a plane. The pilot starts talking on the intercom and then lays it down without knowing its still on. The pilot says to the co-pilot, "I could use two things right now, a cup of coffee and a blowjob." Stuartist runs up the isle to tell the pilot to turn off the intercom. The man stands up and says, "Hey hun, dont forget the coffee."
Vote:
has 75.63 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day a Jew was giving an Asian a blowjob, then, the Asian said do you have homework. The Jew said no and they continued the blowjob. Adam was waiting outside for a long time before he decided to walk in. He walked in to find the Jew getting it up the bum. Adam decided he wanted to get some action too, so he walked up and took a swing at the Asian. The Asian died and then the Jew yelled Aluakbah and bombed everyone. Note: they were all boys.
Vote:
has 10.98 % from 415 votes. More jokes about: asian, dirty, gay, jewish, racist
A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's bedroom, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran! Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it ?"
Vote:
has 68.36 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: dirty