Joke #6938

What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
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has 67.09 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine. At the first taste she says: "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998" and all the people were amazed. At the 2nd try she answers "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953" and they were once again amazed. Then the drunk pisses in a glass and hands it to her. She tries it and says "Yak, this tastes like piss!" And the drunk says, "Yeah, but what year was I born?"
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, disgusting, drunk, wine, women
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop that!” To which the waiter replies, “Sure, which way did it go?”
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, fart, nurse, old people
Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine? A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, nurse
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.
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has 59.69 % from 202 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, lesbian, time