Joke #3385

Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.

There was an ad in the newspaper: An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor. The photo of the tractor is required.

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Some say monogamy is the same.

Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.

This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done and when the cooking is made and when the dishes are washed." One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been married?" The man says, "Oh I'm not married I'm single!"

The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.

After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me." A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."

How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.

I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.