Joke #3385

Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men

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A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?" "Very well trained, Peter." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says: "James! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
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has 47.24 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: atheist, men, military, navy
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
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has 34.78 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: men
2 boys searching for their lost girlfriends: 1st: How your girlfriend look like? 2nd: 5'6, hot, sexy, blue eyes... what about yours? 1st: Forget about mine.. lets search for yours.
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has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
A wife says, "Hey! Look at that funny guy who's been drinking a lot." The husband responds, "Who is he?" The wife answers, "Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage." "Oh my God! He's still celebrating his freedom!" says the husband.
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has 79.54 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, life, marriage, mean, men
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
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has 77.68 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dad, hospital, men, nurse, wife
Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises? So oxygen can get into their brains.
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has 62.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat? A: The Grape-full Dead!
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wine
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that." "Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
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has 85.77 % from 536 votes. More jokes about: men