Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
How are men like chocolates? A.They never last long enough B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.
A man is talking to God. "God, how long is a million years?" God answers, "To me, it's about a minute." "God, how much is a million dollars?" "To me, it's a penny." "God, may I have a penny?" "Wait a minute."
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women? A: men have an antenna!
Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."