Joke #3385

Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men

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A widowed elderly lady was sunbathing on a beach in Fort Myers, FL. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book.  Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello sir, how are you today?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.  "I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book. "I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away 3 years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" she asked. "Yes, I live over in Cape Coral," he answered and again resumed reading.  Trying to find a topic of common interest, and noticing that his book was about veterinary medicine, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?" With that, the man dropped his book, jumped off his blanket and on to hers, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!  When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?" The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
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has 59.28 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: age, husband, marriage, men, wife
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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has 54.46 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, men
What does a man make best for dinner? Reservations.
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has 67.90 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: men
The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
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has 81.09 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: men
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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has 74.71 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: car, dog, marriage, men, women
Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: holiday, men
There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.
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has 81.88 % from 322 votes. More jokes about: husband, kids, life, men, women