Joke #3385

Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.

Q: What is difference between man and Superman? A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.

Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!

Three couples are having a picnic. One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey." The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar." Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."

Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.

(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"

What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.

Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.

A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”

Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"

I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.