Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer.
Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
What's the difference between a man and a messy room? You can straighten up a messy room.
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?" "Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? A: Who knows it's never been done.
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Who knows? - It hasn't happened yet!!
Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any.