Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say
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The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.
"Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."
"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.
"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood.
A few actually smirked.
But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?"
"A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."
Why does a man like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
There are 5 birds in a tree.
A hunter shoots 2 of them dead.
How many birds are left?
2 birds.
The other 3 fly away!
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop to ask directions!
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl.
I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose.
No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes?
A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."