Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say
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A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant.
"The ball type?" asked the clerk.
"No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache."
The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce.
The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce.
The man persists and asks to see the manager.
The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce."
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standingright behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
"Canada, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there."
"Really?" said the manager.
"My wife is from Canada."
"No sh*t?" replied the boy.
"Who'd she play for?"
Susan was having a tough day and after returning home she started complaining.
She said to her husband, "Nobody loves me….nobody cares for me..the whole world hates me!"
Her husband, watching TV said casually: "That’s not true dear. You are not that famous that whole world hates you. Some people don’t even know you."
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
Q: What is difference between man and Superman?
A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.