Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say
A young man goes into the Job Centre in Sydney, and sees an ad for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Interested, he goes to learn more. "Can you give me some more details on this job?" he asks the clerk. The clerk pulls up the file and says, "The job entails getting the women ready for the gynaecological consult. You have to help them out of their underwear, lay them down, and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the examination. There's an annual salary of $75,000, but you're going to have to go to Perth - other side of the country." The man says "Oh is that where the job is?" The clerk says "No sir. That's where the end of the line is right now."
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted several times.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
Why are all jokes about women one-liners? So men can understand them.
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.