Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say
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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
The second guy wishes the same.
The third guy says "I’m lonely.
I wish my friends were back here."
Vote:
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife.
See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation!
So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man?
No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.