What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.
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Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q: How do you piss off a man?
A: Stand on his back and piss.
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Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
Men are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
A woman arrived at a party.
While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone.
She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen."
"That’s a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?"
"No," she replied. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most – cars and men. Therefore I chose 'Carmen'"
"What’s your name?” she asked.
He answered "B. J. Titsengolf."
How is a man like a microwave oven?
Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
Q: Why are men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.
A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation.
The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..."
"Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman."
Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..."
"Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man."
"Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom."
"Why, honey?"
"Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."