What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.
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A man rushes out of his wife's hospital room.
"Doctor, doctor -- my wife's been in a coma for several months, but when I just touched her left breast, she sighed!"
"That's very encouraging," says the doctor. "Go back and touch her right breast. See if she reacts."
A few minutes later, the man rushes out again: "Doctor, she moaned!"
"Very good," says the doctor.
"Now try oral sex.
She should certainly react to that!"
Five minutes later, the man comes out back out, white as a sheet.
"Doctor -- she died."
"No! What happened?" the doctor exclaims.
"Well, doc," the man says tearfully, "she choked."
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Why did the blonde have a sore belly button?
Because there are blonde men too!
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
How are men like chocolates?
A.They never last long enough
B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.