What is the longest organ in a sheep's body? A New Zealander's cock!
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
“Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ‘em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns.But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes? A dumb bunny.
The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says: Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
Why did the gag-writer turn green? Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!