What is the longest organ in a sheep's body?
A New Zealander's cock!
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Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you...
This is life of a dog.
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement?
A: Hold a tupperware party!
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident?
No, they do everything on porpoise.
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?
A. Because he was pissed off!
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
How much money did the bronco have?
Only a buck!
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!