Joke #3394

What is the longest organ in a sheep's body? A New Zealander's cock!
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal

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I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
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has 74.33 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter
Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, life
Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah. ‘Hello,’ I thought. ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
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has 34.78 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: animal
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, fat, food, insulting
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible, fish
‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’ Sue Murphy
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, Chuck Norris