Joke #5789

Save the tree, eat a beaver.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man sat at a local bar and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman next to him. I'm celebrating, too" she replied, clinking glasses with him. "What are your celebrating?" "I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile." "What a coincidence, the woman said. For my husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked. "I switched cocks," he replied. "What a coincidence," she said.
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has 74.05 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, husband
Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, soccer
Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
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has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, fat
Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking: Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one. What did you do? Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were camping in a backwoods section of Maine. Early one morning, the two went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears - a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast as he could, and got the local backwoods sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim and shot the female. "Whatdidja do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!" "Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, friendship, lawyer
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
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has 79.17 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal