How are men like diplomas? You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar. Man says "you can leave that lion here." The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
There is the chief of Indians, and he is going down a field with his tribe, and they come across a pile of sh*t.So the chief asks his tribe men : "Does this look like sh*t to you?" "Yes is does", they replied. "Smell it. Does it smell like sh*t to you", asks the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Feel it. Does it feel like sh*t to you?", says the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Lick it. Does it taste like sh*t to you?", inquires the Chief. "Ammmm...Yes" "Good. Don't step on it!"
Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation! So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man? No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!