How are men like diplomas?
You spend lots of time getting one, but once you
have it, you don't know what to do with it.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog.
One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?"
The man replies, "No my dog doesn't."
The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man.
"Thats not my dog", replied the other.
Men are like.....Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way.
God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye."
To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
Men are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
What is a man's definition of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont."
The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die."
So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?"
The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting."
So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont."
The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."