Joke #6799

After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
Vote: has 82.86 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food, love, men
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions!
Vote: has 30.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN Arrive naked... with beer.
Vote: has 88.22 % from 649 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
One day Mrs. Smith went to have a talk with the minister at thelocal church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this needle with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Smith is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Smith dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the needle. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Smith," said the minister. Soon, Mr.Smith nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Smith. "God!" Mr. Smith cried out as he was stuck again with the needle. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.Smith again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Smith mistook as signals to prod her husband with the needle again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Smith poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I’ll break it in half and shove it up your a***s!" "Amen," replied the congregation.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, god, husband, men, work
How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: "I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down." The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: "Because he's far too heavy."
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings. One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?' An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in." She lets him in and goes "how can we help?" The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice tits"
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men