After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant. "The ball type?" asked the clerk. "No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?" "Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls private Cooper and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work? It keeps them awake.
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now.
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women? A: men have an antenna!