Joke #6799

After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
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Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!" The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
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An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
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Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
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"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
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What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
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A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."
Vote: has 83.72 % from 150 votes. Send joke:
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A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
Vote: has 76.95 % from 89 votes. Send joke:
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A young woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a man wearing a cowboy hat. "Excuse me sir but are you a real cowboy?" The man says, "Well I have a ranch and horses. I go to rodeos and raise cattle and other livestock, so yes I suppose I'm a real cowboy." The woman says, "Well I think I'm a l*sbian. Women are always on my mind whether I'm working eating driving or whatever its still the same. I cant get women off my mind. Yes I think I'm a l*sbian." The young woman gets up and leaves the coffee shop. A short time later a young guy comes in and sits down next to the man and asks him, "Sir are you a real cowboy?" To that the man replies, "Well I always thought I was, but just a few minutes ago I found out I'm a l*sbian!"
Vote: has 79.06 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Vote: has 82.68 % from 181 votes. Send joke:
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