Joke #6799

After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
Vote:
has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
Vote:
has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left. One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says. "Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
Vote:
has 66.90 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: bar, gay, men
Why are all jokes about women one-liners? So men can understand them.
Vote:
has 54.83 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: insulting, men, women
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly." St. Peter looked at Dave and said, "You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge." Next St. Peter looked at John and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota stationwagon." St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari." A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam’s Ferrari and there he is, sitting on the hood, head in hands, crying. "What’s wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You are set forever! Why so down?" Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and cried, "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board."
Vote:
has 84.14 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: car, death, heaven, marriage, men
A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely. The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it." The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"
Vote:
has 75.16 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: beauty, desert island, dog, food, men
Men and women were created equal but women continued to improve.
Vote:
has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Vote:
has 81.07 % from 337 votes. More jokes about: age, men, ugly
Men are like.....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?" The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
Vote:
has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
Vote:
has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men