After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
How many men would it take to mop a floor? No one knows; they've never done it.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
Q: What is difference between man and Superman? A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.