Joke #1438

How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!" St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven." This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, death, heaven, men
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, men
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, men
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
Vote: has 22.36 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex, time, women
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
2 cannibals having dinner. 1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew." 2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex, women
We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married. My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea! My girlfriend? She is a dream! But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister… This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses. Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear. She never did that in front of someone else! One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations. When I arrived she was alone. She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them. She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister. I was shocked and could not say a word… She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her. I froze and looked at her going up the stairs. Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me. I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door. I opened it and I walked to the car. My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!" Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
Vote: has 88.52 % from 551 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, family, marriage, men, relationship