Joke #1438

How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What did God say after creating man? I can do better.
Vote: has 57.83 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, men
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?" "Very well trained, Peter." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says: "James! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
Vote: has 41.85 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: atheist, men, military, navy
Something Special For His Birthday It was Jim's birthday, and he was considered to be an "old man" by his friends standards. So, to liven him up a bit, Jim's friends decided to give him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker. The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked on the door. When Jim answered, she said "Hi I'm your birthday present!" Startled, he asked "What am I supposed to do with you?" "I'm yours for super sex," she answers. So Jim replied "Well, I'm 75 years old so I'll have the soup."
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!" The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: customer service, dog, men
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
If you want to know why men are called the 'opposite sex', express an opinion!
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Susan was having a tough day and after returning home she started complaining. She said to her husband, "Nobody loves me….nobody cares for me..the whole world hates me!" Her husband, watching TV said casually: "That’s not true dear. You are not that famous that whole world hates you. Some people don’t even know you."
Vote: has 74.69 % from 131 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, love, men
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly." St. Peter looked at Dave and said, "You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge." Next St. Peter looked at John and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota stationwagon." St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari." A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam’s Ferrari and there he is, sitting on the hood, head in hands, crying. "What’s wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You are set forever! Why so down?" Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and cried, "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board."
Vote: has 81.87 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, death, heaven, marriage, men