Joke #1438

How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men

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This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
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Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends.
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Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any.
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There's 3 army generals and the government decides to pay them any way they want measured. First guy says measure from the tip of my toe to the end of my finger. So they do and its 73 inches so they pay him $730,000. The second guy does the same and gets paid $650,000. The third guy goes measure from the tip of my penis to the back of my balls. They say OK drop your pants, so he does and they measure. "You have no balls" they say. "Yes I do," he replies, "they're still in Vietnam.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
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has 63.33 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, sex, women
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven. "I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven. But if you think one dirty thought or act out one dirty act your wings will fall off." So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when they get there the first guy sees a naked woman walk by so his wings falll off. When he bends over to pick them up the second guy's wings fall off.
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: men
A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: "I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down." The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: "Because he's far too heavy."
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men, weather