Joke #3423

A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?" The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through." He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!" The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole. Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold. When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!" Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"

Football match Romania – Russia. Romania wins and receives a telegram from Russia: “You’ve won! Stop. Congratulations! Stop. Oil! Stop. Gas! Stop...

A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"

Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.

Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.

After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded. The couch says to him: You should better take a decision! You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft. In today’s civilized society, it is called golf.

Q: What do you get when you cross an alligator with a road runner? A: A 100 mph nigger eater.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"