Why is Cinderella such a bad football player? Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game? Because all the fans have left.
Why did the referee have such a high phone bill? Because he made to many calls!
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV. "Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?" "I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied. "You haven’t touched me in months. We’re going to talk about sex right now!" "OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
One day, the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance; I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here". "Yes", snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpires."
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?