Why is Cinderella such a bad football player? Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
A true story, according to the LA Times..... Coach Frank Layden of the Utah Jazz asked forward Jeff Wilkins, "Is your bad play due to ignorance or apathy?" Wilkins replied, "I don't know and I don't care!"
Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place? Well, it could have been worse. How? There could have been more teams in the league!
A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he's done any good. The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery. The man says, "I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany. The score was 0-0 and there was only one more minute of play when I awarded a penalty against England." "Yes," responds St. Peter, "That was a real act of bravery. Can you tell me when this took place?" "Certainly," the man replies. "About three minutes ago."
Ricky Ponting's wife calls her husband but Australian Cricket Team Manager attends the call. Ricky's Wife: "Hello Can I talk to Ricky, this is his wife." Australian team Manager: "Sorry, he is just going to bat, I am the team manager, any message for him." Ricky's Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will hold on!"
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis
What's a mexicans' favorite sport? Cross country.
The water in Rio is so bad that even Usain Bolt had the "runs" in his last race!