Why is Cinderella such a bad football player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
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If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Played a round of golf with the local course pro for some helpful tips.
After playing the first hole I turned to him for some advice and all he said was "loft".
So after the next 4 holes I asked him again and all he said was "loft"
Now we're done with the round and I asked him why after each hole all he would ever tell me was "loft"?
To which the pro relies "loft" - "Lack Of F*cking Talent"
"Waiter, this vinegar is rather lumpy."
Waiter: "That's because they're pickled onions, sir."
What’s a swimmer’s favourite sport?
Pool.
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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What did the trampolinist say?
‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’
Tennis
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "I don't think you can keep your head down that long."
A couple of years ago the english national team was about to start training in preparation for an important qualifying match when the manager at the time, Sven-Goran Eriksson, discovered a big turd in one of the penalty areas on the practice pitch.
Ok boys, he said, who's shit on the ground?
Emile Heskey replied:
"Me coach, but I'm good in the air!"
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
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