Why is Cinderella such a bad football player?
Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.
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Why did the referee have such a high phone bill?
Because he made to many calls!
Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen.
One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.
"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"
"I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied.
"You haven’t touched me in months.
We’re going to talk about sex right now!"
"OK, OK.
So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"
The man says, "Will you buy booze?"
The bum says, "No."
The man says, "Will you gamble it away?"
The bum says, "No."
So the man says, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married?
A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Starbucks and Yoga class?
A: I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music?
Matthew: Why?
Peter: Because he broke the record!
Hey babe, let's play football!
You can have first down.
High five!
Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.