Joke #4283

Why is Cinderella such a bad football player? Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and she ran away from the ball.

There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now." Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole." "My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him. "That must've been terrible!" "It was," he said. "All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."

My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."

Two women are talking. ‘You know,’ says one. ‘Eighty per cent of men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.’ ‘Well,’ says the other. ‘That will certainly revolutionise the game of hockey!’

What does NBA stand for Niggas Boucing Around.

Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.

Q: What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common? A: No Cubs

Football match Romania – Russia. Romania wins and receives a telegram from Russia: “You’ve won! Stop. Congratulations! Stop. Oil! Stop. Gas! Stop...

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."