Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any.
"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
They put one man on the moon. Why can’t they put them all there?
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation! So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man? No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!" The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.