A man is talking to God.
"God, how long is a million years?"
God answers, "To me, it's about a minute."
"God, how much is a million dollars?"
"To me, it's a penny."
"God, may I have a penny?"
"Wait a minute."
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John it’s alright muttering a few words in the church and finding yourself married, but if you mutter a few words in your sleep you might find yourself divorced.
Q: What is height of Stupidity?
A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Q: Why do men fart louder than women?
A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.
What's the quickest way to lose 190 pounds of ugly fat?
Divorce him.
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.