Joke #5580

A man is talking to God. "God, how long is a million years?" God answers, "To me, it's about a minute." "God, how much is a million dollars?" "To me, it's a penny." "God, may I have a penny?" "Wait a minute."
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
Vote: has 16.16 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gym, men, teacher, time
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, mean, men, women
Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
Vote: has 62.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle. He decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?" The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, geek, internet, men
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?" The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, men, women
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
Vote: has 55.57 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, dirty, jewish, men, women
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Vote: has 85.49 % from 548 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, men, women
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
Vote: has 63.61 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, men, poems, sex, women