A man is talking to God.
"God, how long is a million years?"
God answers, "To me, it's about a minute."
"God, how much is a million dollars?"
"To me, it's a penny."
"God, may I have a penny?"
"Wait a minute."
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Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good."
Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
They put one man on the moon.
Why can’t they put them all there?
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box.
She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
How is a man like a snowstorm?
You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.