When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big boobs, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide.
So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring.
She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.
Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything.
She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy.
She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.
So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her.
She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big boobs.
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Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.
They put one man on the moon.
Why can’t they put them all there?
The Perfect Man:
- wakes up at 5 am everyday
- exercises everyday
- makes his own bed
- cleans his room
- works sincerely
- does not touch alcohol
- helps in the kitchen
- does not indulge in night life
- always punctual
- prays daily
- hits the bed at 9 pm sharp
Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Why does a penis have a hole at the end?
So guys can be open-minded.
Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward?
It ends up in his mouth.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.