Joke #5124

There once was a fellow from Kent Who had such a long instrument. To stay out of trouble He folded it double. And instead of coming he went.
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I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
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When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
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A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
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My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "Theres something I must confess." "Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright." "No I must die in peace. I had s*x with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!" "I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!"
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Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
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Why is a man different from a PC? You only have to tell the PC once.
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What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
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