There once was a fellow from Kent
Who had such a long instrument.
To stay out of trouble
He folded it double.
And instead of coming he went.
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Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea.
The second also asks for tea.
"And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter.
When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
Q:What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A:Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears and Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship?
A. A second date.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1) No mind.
2) No business.
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont."
The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die."
So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?"
The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting."
So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont."
The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.