Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
Q: How do u call an gay Indian guy. A: Indi-anus
The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he’s sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished. The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him a £5.00 note. The boy looks at the money and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father,...you’re a virgin." The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark. The next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it’s a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing. The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad another £5.00 note. Once again the lad looks at the money and says, "Thanks very much Father, you really are a virgin." At this stage the priest decides to take action. "Tommy," he says, "that’s twice you’ve called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?" "Yes," says the kid, "a tight cunt."
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes.
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
Q: What's the pink nub of flesh between your grandmother's breasts called? A: Her clit
Ben asks his new girlfriend for a hand job. "Ive never done that" she says, "what do I do ?" "Well" replies Ben, "remember when you were a kid and you'd shake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it ... that's what you do." She nods, so he pulls his manhood out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A minute later, he has tears running down his face, snot flowing from his nose and wax flying from his ears. She asks 'Whats wrong ?' Ben cries "TAKE YOUR FUCKING THUMB OFF THE END!"
How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table has no balls.