Joke #1124

Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
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has 82.45 % from 947 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard". Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen". The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my dick". Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats". On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using. Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey. Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!
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has 82.35 % from 5545 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, love, sex, Thanksgiving
Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
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has 50.54 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, life
A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier asks him if he wants a bag. He responds, "No, she's not that ugly."
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has 78.13 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
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has 85.18 % from 2090 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, money, sex
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true. "I want to pee whiskey," he says. “But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want." "No I want to pee whiskey." The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true. George goes home, calls his wife, Sue: "Woman, get nuts and two glasses." Curious she was, she brings them. "What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks." From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her. And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey. They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game. The other night the same happen. "Woman, bring two glasses and nuts." So they spend their evenings. One night, however, the scene changed. "Woman, bring nuts and a cup." "A, for one?" "You will drink from the bottle today."
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has 58.51 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, game, money, women
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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has 71.50 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest. Somehow the professor heard about the plan. In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a pr*stitute makes $2000 per night." All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."
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has 79.88 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: dirty
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
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has 61.90 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
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has 73.41 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
One day a Jew was giving an Asian a blowjob, then, the Asian said do you have homework. The Jew said no and they continued the blowjob. Adam was waiting outside for a long time before he decided to walk in. He walked in to find the Jew getting it up the bum. Adam decided he wanted to get some action too, so he walked up and took a swing at the Asian. The Asian died and then the Jew yelled Aluakbah and bombed everyone. Note: they were all boys.
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has 10.82 % from 421 votes. More jokes about: asian, dirty, gay, jewish, racist