Joke #1124

Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
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has 82.40 % from 926 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says. "What? There's no such thing," she replied. "No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'" A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out. "Wow, that was great!" She says. She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store. On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo. Well she's really enjoying herself. The car is swerving and she rolls through a red. She ends up getting pulled over by a cop. After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story. She explains about the magic dildo and the shop. The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
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has 53.60 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, gay, sex
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
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has 55.38 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drug, duck, weed
Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? A: So you don't poke your eye out.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
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has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, viagra
My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
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has 41.24 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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has 36.03 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, sex, women
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
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has 74.97 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, life, sex
Q: What do you call nuts on a wall? A: Wallnuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chest? A: Chest nuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chin? A: A penis in your mouth
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has 60.97 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
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has 60.26 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, lesbian
Me: Can I call an officer a pussy? Cop: No. Me: Can I call a pussy 'officer?' Cop: I guess you could... Me: Goodnight, officer
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has 62.36 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty