Joke #3470

A man asks his mute friend what he wants in a woman. The mute friend points to his head. His friend says, "Yes, intelligence is important." Then, the mute friend rubs his thumb on the palm of his hand. His friend nods and says, "Certainly a woman with money would be nice." Then, the mute friend opens his hands wide in front of him, cups his fingers and makes a bouncing motion. His friend looks at him strangely. "What the heck do you want a woman with arthritis for?"
Vote:
has 84.20 % from 328 votes. More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A: Married.
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, marriage
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
Vote:
has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage
A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating. The American husband asked, "how did you find out?" The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
Vote:
has 43.61 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: gay, geography, marriage, money
Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!"
Vote:
has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day? simple it is just a formality like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!!
Vote:
has 51.69 % from 281 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wedding
The husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet the wife stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came back to his senses, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now. ....I think you bring me bad luck!"
Vote:
has 57.10 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: business, health, husband, marriage, wife
An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills." His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
Vote:
has 61.37 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, marriage, viagra, wife
On their 25th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Joseph was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Joseph, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Joseph responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."
Vote:
has 85.34 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
Vote:
has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?" "It's over!" "Over? Why, what happened?" "We got married..."
Vote:
has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage