Joke #4034

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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has 85.27 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Thomas replied, "My father doesn't like her."
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has 84.82 % from 1013 votes. More jokes about: family, marriage, single, wife, women
Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.
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has 83.31 % from 2545 votes. More jokes about: beauty, love, marriage, sex, wife
My husband said he wanted more space. So I locked him outside.
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has 48.20 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly." St. Peter looked at Dave and said, "You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge." Next St. Peter looked at John and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota stationwagon." St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari." A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam’s Ferrari and there he is, sitting on the hood, head in hands, crying. "What’s wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You are set forever! Why so down?" Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and cried, "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board."
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has 78.18 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: car, death, heaven, marriage, men
He named the street he built after his wife. It was very apt, as she was cold, hard, cracked and only got ploughed around Christmas.
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has 91.06 % from 3203 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.
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has 83.19 % from 214 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My wife has a contract to give lectures – it’s called a marriage licence.
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has 84.46 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, marriage, time
My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
“A happy marriage is nothing but a give and take relationship; the husband gives and the wife takes.”
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has 77.25 % from 279 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, relationship, wife