Joke #4008

I fell in love with my wife at second sight. The first time I didn’t know she had money.
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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
Vote: has 85.26 % from 190 votes. Send joke:
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Three guys all think that their wives are cheating on them. The first guy thinks his wife is screwing a plumber because he found a tool belt under his bed. The second guy thinks his wife is screwing a judge because he found a robe and gavel under his bed. The third guy says, "That's nothing! I came home and found a cowboy under my bed. I can't believe my wife is screwing a horse."
Vote: has 52.04 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
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Wife:"I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband:"You have perfect eyesight."
Vote: has 60.26 % from 98 votes. Send joke:
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I live like a medieval knight. Every night I go to sleep with a battleaxe at my side.
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
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Doctor, my husband is 300% impotent. "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?" "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."
Vote: has 56.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
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Things have reached crisis point in Beryl’s marriage. ‘If things are so bad,’ her friend advises her. ‘Then you should leave your husband.’ ‘I would,’ says Beryl. ‘If only I could think of a way of doing it that wouldn’t make him happy.’
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
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A woman applies for a job in a lemon grove. ‘Have you got any experience picking lemons?’ asks the foreman. ‘I certainly have,’ says the woman. ‘I’ve been married four times.’
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
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A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." "I know," said the man, "but I can’t. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
Vote: has 51.93 % from 98 votes. Send joke:
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Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.
Vote: has 85.61 % from 734 votes. Send joke:
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There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
Vote: has 83.42 % from 140 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, marriage, old people, wife