Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
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A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
Two blondes are nailing in roof tiles.
One of them is pulling nails from his jar and if they face him, he throws them away.
The other blonde asks what he's doing.
"Duh. I'm throwing away the defective ones."
"No, stupid! Those are for the other side of the roof."
A blond smokes in her yard. The garbage man asks her:
Any garbage today?
Yes, tree sacks please...
Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working.
So the blonde looks out the window and says, "Yes. No. Yes. No."
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp.
They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie.
He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish.
The redhead went first. "I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!"
"Okay," replied the genie.
And off she went.
Then the brunette went.
"I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!"
And off she went.
The blonde started crying and said, "I wish my friends were back here!"
A blonde's car breaks down.
A cop pulls up and inquires about the group of naked men standing next to her car.
The blonde says, "They're my emergency flashers."
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation.
They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words.
She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and nothing happens.
They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words.
“I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.
Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”
Three blondes enter a bar.
They are happy, dancing and singing.
The barman asks them:
What are you girls celebrating?
We just finished a puzzle that took us tree months to finish.
So? The barman asks.
On the box wrought 2-4 years!
Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common?
A: They both wiggle when you eat them!