Q. What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A. She moved.
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A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it....
Cop: "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?"
Blonde: "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."
Cop: "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"
Blonde: "Oh!
Stupid me!
Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on."
At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.
Cop: "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there?
They're shaking something awful."
Blonde: "Oh... We just got off of highway 119".
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One hundred: one to hold the lightbulb, the other 99 to rotate the house.
Q: Why did two women walk into a saloon pointing bananas at people and shouting: "GIVE US YER LOOT!"
A: They were both blonds.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks."
The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."
"No. Those are deer tracks."
They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed?
She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
There's a blonde. She enters a laughing contest.
There's 10 levels to the contest. She gets to the 9th level and bursts into laughter.
The host asks her "Why did you laugh, you could have won."
The blonde reply's, "I finally got the first joke."
Q: How do you electrocute a blonde?
A: Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.
Vote:
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were in a competition to see who could swim 60 miles accross a river.
The brunet swims 30 miles, gets a cramp and drowns.
The red head swims accross 30 miles, gets bit by a shark and drowns.
The blonde swims 30 miles accross, says: "I'm tired." and swims 30 miles back.
What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
"You keep hearing about them, but never see any."