Joke #5256

Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake? A: Must be an earthquake.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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There were once 3 blondes stranded on a deserted island, and could not think of a way to get off it. One of them tripped over what happened to be a magic lamp. Dusting it off, the genie came out. "I will grant you each a wish," he said. "Why not," thought the blondes. "It's worth a try." "I want to be the world's best swimmer," one said, "so I can swim off of the island". She then jumped in to the ocean and swam away. "I want to be a bird," one said, and flew away immediately. The third and last blonde thought for a while. "I want to be a man." She was instantly transformed into a man, and she walked over the bridge to the mainland.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, food, stupid
Two blondes drive through the middle of Kansas, surrounded entirely by wheat fields. One blonde says, "Look over there!" They see another blonde in scuba gear acting like she's swimming through the wheat. The blonde driving says, "It's girls like that who give us blondes a bad name." The other blonde says, "Yeah! And if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and tell her off."
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed? A: She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “green side up!” In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “green side up!” The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing. In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “green side up!” The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?” “I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde, work
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis." The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
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has 72.79 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, medical, stupid
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, chocolate, food, stupid
Two blondes are nailing in roof tiles. One of them is pulling nails from his jar and if they face him, he throws them away. The other blonde asks what he's doing. "Duh. I'm throwing away the defective ones." "No, stupid! Those are for the other side of the roof."
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house, so she called the contractor and set an appointment to meet with him. When the contractor came to her house they did a walk-through and he asked her what colors she would like. They came to the living room and she told him that she would like a nice, warm cream color. The contractor wrote something down on his pad, then walked to the window and yelled, "Greenside up." The lady is a little confused, but doesn't say anything, and they continue to the dining room where she tells him, "I would like a nice warm white in here, nothing stark." The contractor writes something down on his pad, then walks to the window and again yells, "Greenside up!" The lady is really confused now but still does not say anything. They continue to her bedroom and she says, "I would like a nice, cool, relaxing blue in here." The contractor writes something on his pad and again walks to the window and yells, "Greenside up." The woman is now totally perplexed and says to the contractor, "Three times I have told you the color that I want, and you write something on your pad, then you walk to the window and yell greenside up. What is going on?" The contractor replies, "You see, I have four blondes laying sod across the street."
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has 76.68 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde girl was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem. The redhead says "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?" The blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?"
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde