A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde.
The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde.
The bouncer is blonde.
The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
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Q. What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A. A blonde parade.
How do you break a blonde's nose?
Place a dildo under a glass table!
She is so blonde, she thinks that Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building.
The italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
The chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says "Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time im going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death.
That weekend at the funeral, the italian and the chinese wives are crying and saying "I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me."
And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn't sad about her husbands death, the blonde replys "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men?
Their knees.
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls.
She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: She's trying to hold on to a thought.
What do you call ten blondes at the bottom of the pool?
Air pockets.
A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island.
The redhead swims half way and drowns.
The brunette swims half way and drowns too.
The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
