Joke #5506

How do you break a blonde's nose? Place a dildo under a glass table!
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Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
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Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles? Because it ends up behind her ears anyway!
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What’s the difference between a blonde and a 747? Not everyone’s been in a 747.
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What does a blonde use for protection during sex? A bus shelter.
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What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic? They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
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Most men regard blondes as a golden opportunity.
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Did you hear about the blonde who sold her car to get some money for petrol?
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A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."
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If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix 'bim' could be used to create new words that describe them: Bimbabble - noises coming from a group of blondes Bimbaffled - constant mental state of blondes Bimbait - short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males Bimbar - a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait Bimbag - a blonde's purse Bimbrushes - essential equipment in a bimbag Bimbastic surgeon - specialist in breast enhancements for blondes Bimbeeper - special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes Bimbellow - sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard Bimbillion? - a blonde giving an estimate of anything Bimblaze - the result of a blonde trying to cook Bimblues - a blonde's state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her Bimboette - a young blonde Bimbonese - language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else Bimbonique behavior - airhead behavior, unique to blondes Bimboozle - to fool a blonde Bimbore - a blonde who uses "like" more than 10 times in a sentence Bimbozo - another name for a blonde Bimboron - a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes Bimbrownie - a well-tanned blonde Bimbrunette - a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is Bimburden - blonde carrying too many bags at the mall
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Blonde Overdue A blonde goes into a library and cheerfully says, "Hi! I'm here to see the doctor!" In a stern, but hushed voice, the librarian says, "Miss, this is a library." So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor.
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