Joke #5506

How do you break a blonde's nose? Place a dildo under a glass table!

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? Last year’s hide and seek champ.

A mathematician, a philosopher, and a blonde all go to Hell and receive a challenge from the Devil - if they can stump him, they're free to go to heaven instead. The philosopher goes first and asks the Devil a very hard philosophy question - to which the Devil snaps his fingers, gets a book, and gives the answer. The mathematician tries as well - but the Devil instantly gets the answer. When it comes to the blonde, she pulls up a chair and drills three holes in it. She then sits down in the chair and farts. "Now," she says, "which hole did the fart come out of?" "That's easy," says the Devil. "All of them." "No, stupid! It came out of my butthole!"

What’s the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal? The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.

Q. What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? A. Run...she has a grenade in her mouth.

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly? The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."

A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts." The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."

Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet? A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.

Why can’t blondes make ice cubes? They forget the recipe.

There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop. They hide in potato sacks. The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!

A blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a redhead. She grabs a gun and holds it to her own head. The husband begs her not to shoot herself. The blonde shouts at her husband, ‘Shut up! You’re next!’