Joke #5506

How do you break a blonde's nose? Place a dildo under a glass table!
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Two bums are sitting talking. The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever! This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground. So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever." The second bum just laughs, "That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks. You know what I did? I fucked her all day long." The other bum interrupts, "Bull! You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life." The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good blowjob?" The other replies no. "How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a blow job?" To which the other replies, "How could she? She didn't have a head!"
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Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a policehorse? So she won't shit on the street during a parade.
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Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together. Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles. One blonde says "We need to find a faster way to get home." The next day, they come to work on a donkey. After work they come out and see a donkey tied to the fence. "I think we're going to have to wait again, " says the one blonde. "I'm not convinced that's our donkey." "Why not?" asks the second blonde. The first blonde says, "Well, this donkey only has one a**hole, and this morning when we rode in, I distinctly overhead someone say, "Hey look at those two a**holes on that donkey."
Vote: has 83.31 % from 188 votes. Send joke:

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A blonde was trapped on an island and had to swim 1000 miles to get back to the mainland. She swam 500 miles and got tired, so swam back to the island.
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A blonde gets lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembers her father's advice, "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Soon a snow plow comes by, and she follows it for about 45 minutes. Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing. She explains the advice her father had given her. The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank."
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? A: She didn't know what one came first.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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Two blond girls are discussing: "Yesterday during the blackout I got stuck in the elevator for three whole hours!" "Tell me about it! I got stuck too in the escalators."
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How many blondes does it take to play hide and seek? One.
Vote: has 24.15 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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I looked into a blonde's eyes, but all I saw was the back of her head!
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