Joke #3511

Doc, says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on Earth for?" "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time. If you don't do it, I'll just go to another doctor." "OK, but it's against my better judgment." Steve has his operation. The next day he walks down the hospital corridor very slowly, legs apart, with his drip stand. Heading toward him is another patient walking exactly the same way. "Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Yeah," says the patient, "I finally decided I'd like to be circumcised." Steve's eyes widen in horror, "Oh no! That's the word!"

What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.

How can you tell if a man is aroused? He's breathing.

How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?

Men are like.....Department Stores. Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.

Three couples are having a picnic. One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey." The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar." Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.

A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store. He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it. So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir." "How can I help you" the employee replies. "Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?" The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.