Joke #3517

A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs from her. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Vote: has 42.73 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
"Hey, cabby! How much to take me to the station?" "Five bucks, sir." "And how much for my suitcase?" "No charge for the suitcase, sir." "Okay. Take the case and I’ll walk."
Vote: has 82.87 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, travel
The best things in life are free, plus tax.
Vote: has 18.69 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
What does a blonde in a supermarket bending over? Looking for low prices!
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, money
We’re all self-made but only the rich and successful like to admit it.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance she leaned over and pushed me.
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
A man goes to a bar says, "Barman drinks on me to you the owner and everybody else in here!" Comes the end of the night the man say...sorry man it seems i forgot my wallet. The barman kicks him in the guts and throws him out. The next day the man comes again, "Barman drinks on me to you the owner and everybody else in here!" Comes the end of the night the man say...sorry man i don't have any money on me. The barman hits him in the face with bar stool brakes his leg and throws him out. The following day the man comes to the bar again, "Barman drinks on me for the owner and everybody else in here!" Barman says, "What am not getting a free drink tonight?" "Sorry man but you get violent when you drink."
Vote: has 61.89 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money
A man on a business trip to Las Vegas heard about how good the Las Vegas prostitutes were so on his first night there, he decided he would go out and try his luck. He walked outside his hotel and looked up and down the street and saw an attractive girl standing on the corner. He approached her and asked her if she is working tonight and sure enough she said "Meet me in room 804 across the street." He was in luck. She was a knockout. They got to the room and he sat down anxiously on the edge of the bed. She asked him what he wanted and he thought for a second, then said "How much for a hand job?" She said, "300". His eyes popped open and he asked "300?" She said, "Walk over to that window and open the curtains". He proceeded. "See that motel down there? I own it, and I didn't inherit it. I'm that good." He was like, "well go right ahead honey". So she proceeded to give him the best hand job he ever had. After a little rest he thought, if that was that good..."How much for a blow job?" She said "600". OH MY GOD! was his reply. She told him to walk back over to the window. "See that 15 story hotel? I own it and I didnt inherit it. I'm that good." He said "Well get to work then sweetie." And sure enough he got the best blow job he ever received. After a little "rebuilding" time he thought, if that was that good... "How much for sex?" She chuckled and said, "Honey, I'd own this whole damned town if only I had a pussy."
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, gay, money, sex, work
How do you know you’re flying over the poorer part of town? You see toilet paper hanging on the clothes lines.
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Uncle gives little Johnny a £5 note for his birthday. ‘Spend it carefully,’ says Uncle. ‘Remember – a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Little Johnny replies, ‘Well you certainly handed it over fast enough.’
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money