Joke #4277

He’s in debt up to his eyes. The only thing he’s paid for is his hat.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial. When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Yo mama so poor a man broke in her house a gave her money.
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter. First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny." Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!" The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Dick."
Vote: has 81.72 % from 1873 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, gay, love, marriage, money
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." "You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" "The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." "I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, golf, men, money, wife
A couple are arguing over money. ‘Do you know,’ says the man. ‘If it weren’t for my money this house wouldn’t be here at all.’ ‘Yes,’ says his wife. ‘And if it weren’t for your money neither would I.’
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Money should be utilized as a tool. You just gotta know which nuts to screw.
Vote: has 15.98 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."
Vote: has 81.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: customer service, family, mean, money, music
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
Vote: has 62.19 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, kids, money
A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex. She replied, "I do too!" He gets confused and asks why. She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
Vote: has 72.04 % from 198 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, sex, wife
Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did. The priest then asked him again, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" This time, Charlie replied, "I can’t hear you." The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can’t hear you." Finally, the priest yelled, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" Again, the reply was, "I can’t hear you." The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie, "Trade places with me and you can ask me a question." So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?" To which the priest replied, "By golly, you’re right, you can’t hear in here!"
Vote: has 79.18 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, men, money, priest, wife