Joke #3529

What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women

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Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: insulting, men, republican, women
Why Airplanes are better than Women ? Airplanes usually kill you quickly ...a woman takes her time. Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.... Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go".... Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.... Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.... Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.... Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.... Airplanes don't come with in-laws.... Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before.... Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.... Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.... Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.... Airplanes expect to be tied down.... Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.... Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.... However...when airplanes go quiet...just like women...it's usually not good. If you miscalculate and make a mistake with an airplane, you don't have a bunch of "little airplanes" flying around out of control! When your airplane is sitting there looking at you face to face whining @ 15,000 r's, you want to hear more! With an airplane, your frequency is continuous, and not just once or twice a year! The shape of an airplanes empanage stays constant over the years! Airplanes don't stop for yard and garage sales or tupperware parties! If an airplane gets in the way, you just put it out in the garage, and that is that! It is interesting watching an airplane stall! If a woman ground loops, it is usually more than just a broken prop!
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has 63.21 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: women
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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has 87.09 % from 1069 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer, women
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
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has 62.37 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: sex, women
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
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has 58.99 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, political, science, women
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
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has 59.61 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, wife, women
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men, women
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, women
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guys said "What’s that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this." They said "No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them. I’ll refund your money next year." "Okay," they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, "Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?" "Yeah" said the guy. "Where is he?" asked the trader. "I shot him" said the guy. "Why?" "I caught him in bed with my board."
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has 76.98 % from 309 votes. More jokes about: divorce, geography, sex, travel, women