Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
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Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
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Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately.
However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets.
Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?"
His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
Two programmers in a bar:
Do you see that chick there?
Look at here “properties”!
Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right?
A: 1.
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you. You have my Word.
Q: What do you call a computer expert?
A: A control-alt-elite.
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus?
GarageBend.
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