Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
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My attitude isn't bad.
It's in beta.
What do computers do when they get hungry?
They eat chips!
Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!
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Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society.
Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests.
The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people.
Host: Who have you brought along?
Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost.
A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people.
Host: Who have you bought along?
DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants.
A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own.
Host: Why haven't you brought anyone?
SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan.
20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess.
Host: Where have you been MySQL?
MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Yah!
Yah who?
Naaah, bro, I prefer google.
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Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
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