Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch.
One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?"
The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
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Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
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The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy.
The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.
"Ever have an accident?"
"Nope, nary a one."
"None? You've never had any accidents."
"Nope. Ain't had one. Never."
"Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?"
"Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."
What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala.
A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job.
"Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks.
"I can do great bird impressions", the man replies.
"Pssh, a lot of people can do that".
"Oh well", the man says and flies away.
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper?
A Brontosnorus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh-
Moooooo!
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Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called?
A: A copycat!
I threw a ball for my dog...
It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.