Joke #3556

Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
Vote:
has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
Vote:
has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, teacher
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand? Cows-mopolitan!
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
Vote:
has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, time
A man has his car full of penguins. He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him. He says. "Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!" The man does that. The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins. Once again he drives past the policeman. "Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!" "I did," replies the man. "We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
Vote:
has 51.55 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven’t got the energy." "Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They’re packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there...
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, husband
Why do lions always eat raw meat? "Because they don't know how to cook."
Vote:
has 29.98 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, food