Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch.
One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?"
The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use such FOWL language.
Vote:
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
A husband and wife are eating soup.
The wife spills soup all over her and says:
"Oh no, I look like a pig"
"Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
Vote:
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
Q: What is a crowbar?
A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
Bad Zoo
1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.
2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp.
3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat.
4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk.
5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King.
6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot.
7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you.
8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den.
9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit.
10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!