Does a dolphin ever do something by accident?
No, they do everything on porpoise.
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How many animals can you get into a pair of tights?
10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
What are the spots on black-and-white cows?
Holstaines.
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life.
After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper.
A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately.
On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy.
When she entered the room she stood steal...
She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room.
"But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked.
"Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?
He wanted to raised stewed beef.
What's a rabbits favorite movie?
Rabbits of the Lost Ark.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus.