Joke #10663

Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What kind of whale flies? Pilot whales.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Two lawyers walking through the woods attracted the attention of a vicious-looking bear. The bear noticed them, and started to walk toward them. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulling out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said: "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "Oh, I know that. Bears are much faster than humans. I have no hope of ever being able to outrun a bear." "If you know that, why are you changing shoes?" "Well, the way I figure it," the first lawyer replied, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
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has 59.95 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call an operation on a rabbit? A hare-cut.
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has 69.96 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
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has 78.20 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, wife, work
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man, and tells him that he will grant him a wish. Man says: please make my dog win the next dog race. Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish. The man says: "Well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area." Frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog. The frog turns to the man and says: "Could I please have another look at the dog?"
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has 77.53 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning." The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?" The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
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has 80.44 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, time
What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
What goes black white black white...? A penguin rolling down a hill! What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him!
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal