Joke #10663

Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, Yo mama
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog
What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear? Hare today, gone tomorrow.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
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has 79.83 % from 261 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, blonde, dirty, geography
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant? He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head. The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’ ‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’ ‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman. ‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’
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has 12.61 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
“Mister, why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” asked the young lady from a nearby city. The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, ma’am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep’em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young ‘uns by puttin’ a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops ‘em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns.But the reason this cow don’t have no horns, ma’am, is ’cause it’s a horse.”
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has 81.39 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: animal
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit. We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly." "How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal