Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise.
How do you get a hundred cows in a barn? You hang up a bingo sign!
Why do lions always eat raw meat? "Because they don't know how to cook."
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning." The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?" The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
Q: What is a thespian pony? A: A little horse play
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.