Joke #3038

A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. "Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on" "Ok, got it." the homeowner replied. "But whats that shotgun for?" "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."
Vote: has 78.56 % from 219 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What is the difference between an pilot and a pig? The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: air force, animal, drunk
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!" The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: "Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet." Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment. "Jump frog jump!" he says. The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet. So he writes in his lab book: "Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet." He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot. He writes in his book: "Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot." He continues and removes yet another leg. "Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot. So he writes in his lab book again: "Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet." Finally he chops off the last leg. He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump. "Jump frog, jump!" The frog doesn’t move. "Jump frog, jump!" Again the frog stays on the line. "Come on frog, jump!" But to no avail. The biologist finally writes in his book: "Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, science
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, game, soccer
As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made. The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. The diner agrees. The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish. When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small. He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".
Vote: has 85.53 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, travel
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Vote: has 53.07 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, athlete
Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal