How did the blonde try to kill the bird?? She threw it off a cliff.
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet. He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?" The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!" The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?" The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
Why did the gag-writer turn green? Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk?
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed.
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".