How did the blonde try to kill the bird??
She threw it off a cliff.
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I got a cat the other day.
I had to swerve, but I got it.
What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank.
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question..
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
Why don't lobsters share?
They re shellfish.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits?
Wheelburrows.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes.
They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them."
And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
Q. How does a frog confuse you?
A. When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.