What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog. The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want." The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you." He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened. And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."
What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
When should you feel sorry for a skunk? When its spray pump is out of order!.
How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half.
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A: A milk shake.