What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
(A teddy boar!)
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Two neighbors are talking to each other.
First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me?
Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well.
First neighbor: Really, well then, how?
Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.
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What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?
Ground round.
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set.
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds.
One of the boys said, "What is that?"
"They're smart pills," said the other boy.
"Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap."
"See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers?
A: They have two left feet.