What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
(A teddy boar!)
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Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
Spot.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown?
Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin.
What’s a black spot between two white spots?
A fly with cotton wool in her ears!
What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast Moosmallows.
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard.
The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.
"Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked.
"My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied.
"That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor.
"That's because he's inside your cat!"
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