What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon? A hare dare.
What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer.
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
This guy from up north just up and one day moved down south to start himself a farm. He came across this man and asked him where he could get a good donkey to pull a cart and plow. The man said I've got just what you need. Only thing is down here we don't call them donkeys we call them an ass. He said when this ass stops you'll have to get off the cart and slap them to get it going again. The northern man thanks him and heads on his way. He comes up to a man seeking chickens. He says to the man, I'd like to buy a rooster and a hen. The guy sai d sure thing but down here we don't call em roosters and hens. We call them a cock and a pullet. The man from up north says ok, thanks the man and is on his way. He going along in his cart when his donkey stops in the middle of the road. He remembers what the man said he had to do to get it going. Just then a lady is walking by. So he walks up to her and says, "excuse me miss, but will you hold my cock and pullet while I slap my ass."
What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.