Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
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Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights?
10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bakin'.
Q:Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A:To stamp out fires.
Q:Why do elephants have flat feet?
A:To stamp out burning ducks
What kind of money do polar bears use?
Ice lolly.
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home.
In the den was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?”
The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.”
“What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter.
“My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
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