Joke #3678

How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
Vote: has 25.67 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Chuck can use "save" in real life. But he doesn't need it.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, technology
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
Vote: has 63.67 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cat, food, kitty, life, poems
Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"? A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!
Vote: has 83.67 % from 135 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, life, mean, mother in law
Life may not be worth living, but what else can you do with it?
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
Vote: has 81.85 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, life, religious
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Vote: has 14.61 % from 13002 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, food, life, music
Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.
Vote: has 78.47 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
Vote: has 66.28 % from 130 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, sex
Patient: "Doctor, do you think that I shall live until I am ninety?" Doctor: "How old are you now?" Patient: "40" Doctor: "Do you drink, gamble, smoke or do you have any other vice?" Patient: "No. I don’t drink. I don’t gamble. I don’t smoke. I have no vice." Doctor: "Then why do you want to live for another fifty years?"
Vote: has 77.68 % from 65 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, alcohol, doctor, game, life
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life