Joke #3693

When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants. High five!
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When Chuck Norris goes to a BBL cricket game, he doesn't watch out for the big hits from the players, the big hits watch out for him!
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A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he's done any good. The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery. The man says, "I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany. The score was 0-0 and there was only one more minute of play when I awarded a penalty against England." "Yes," responds St. Peter, "That was a real act of bravery. Can you tell me when this took place?" "Certainly," the man replies. "About three minutes ago."
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Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is. "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, what did you say?" "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you." The successful man spits something into his hand. "You've got to keep your worms warm."
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Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
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Q: What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common? A: No Cubs
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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The Winter Olympics. Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
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What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis
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What’s the difference between an aerobics instructor and a torturer? The torturer would apologize first.
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What does a nigress and an ice hockey player have in common? They both change their pads after 3 periods.
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