Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up.
What's wrong with me?"
Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
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Zeke: Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics?
Kyle: I haven't a clue.
Zeke: Because they couldn't keep their trunks up!
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.
A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island.
The redhead swims half way and drowns.
The brunette swims half way and drowns too.
The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
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Q: What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A: A bad golfer goes *Whack!* "Darn!", but a bad skydiver goes "Darn!" *WHACK!*
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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One day, the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.
Smiling the Lord proclaimed,
"You don't have a chance; I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here".
"Yes", snickered the devil, "but I have all the umpires."
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them?
A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
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