After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded.
The couch says to him:
You should better take a decision!
You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...
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There once was a man who decided to go scuba diving one day.
So he went to the deepest part of the beach, got on his gear, and went underwater.
He decides to go down 20 feet, and there he sees another guy with no equipment on.
The man thought this was strange but we forgot about it and went down another 20 feet.
There, he sees the same guy down there with no gear on.
But the man decided to forget about it and go down another 20 feet.
When he does, he sees the same guy 60 feet underwater with no gear on.
Finally the man writes a note asking this guy how he can go so deep underwater without any gear.
The guy writes back, ''Because I'm drowning, asshole!''
Golfer: "My wife says if I don't stop playing golf she's going to leave me!"
Caddy: "I'm sure you will miss her terribly, sir!"
The other day was Take Your Daughter To Work day.
The Cubs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their daughters.
Unfortunately they lost, 15-3.
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it.
He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted.
Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!"
His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."
Joe finally agreed and took Ted along.
He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly.
He asked Ted, "Do you see it?"
Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!"
Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"
Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
Vote:
Why did the basketball player go to jail?
"Because he shot the ball!"
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown?
A: A dino-score.
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
Vote:
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight."
The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again."
A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?"
"This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."