After 8 rounds the boxer comes back in his corner, extremely grinded. The couch says to him: You should better take a decision! You want the champion title or the Nobel for peace...
A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, "What in the world was that?" He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing." She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies, "Touchdown, tie score." He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers? In case they get a hole in one!
A man went to England on a trip and met a woman there, they grew to like each other enough for her to come to America with the man on his flight home. When they got back to America the man said, “I would like to show you an American pastime: baseball.” So the next day the man took her to a baseball game. The first man came up to the plate and hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the next man bunted the ball and got to first base, and the third man came up to the plate and got walked. The man said, “Are you understanding this game?” The woman answered, “Yes, but what I don't understand is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first man and he hits it. Then he hurls the ball at the second man and he taps it and runs to where the other man was standing. And then the third man, this is the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball and he just stand there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there then he just walks to the place where the other man was standing.” Then the man says, “Well that is because he has four balls.” The woman says, “Poor thing! He couldn't run if he tried.”
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.