Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her teacher asked her a question.
He inquired, “What grows to 10 times its original size when excited?”
Jane blushed and said that she didn't know.
Jimmy raised his hand and said, “I know! The pupil of the eye.”
The teacher replied, “Yes, very good Jimmy.”
The the teacher turned to Jane and said, “Jane I have three things to say to you: One -- you have a very dirty mind.
Two -- you haven't been studying hard enough. And three -- you're going to be very disappointed!”
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Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
Teacher: What are you waiting for?
Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
A schoolteacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, the Home Secretary said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed whereas in college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions."
Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Vote:
You know your f*cked when the Asian says, "shit", during the test.
Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!"
Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!"
Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!"
The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation.
Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"