Q: Why can't a blonde count to 70?
A: Because 69's a mouthful.
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When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones.
The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones."
I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright.
Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.
One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information"
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again.
"So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library.
He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me, young man.
Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?”
The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!”
The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon.
Please allow me to rephrase my question.
Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”
She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period".
His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells".
Johnny asks what color is it.
She says it's red.
Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Ramu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language.
My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.
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