Joke #5225

Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!

Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

A mother picked her son up from school and began to ask him about his day. “How do you like your new teacher,” she asked. “I don’t. She told me to sit in the front of the class for the present. But then she didn’t end up by giving me one!”

In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

Luke: Why did the M&M go to school? Stan: I’m stumped. Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in? Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

Joey and Katie are sitting in school. Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question. "Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil. "Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie. "Correct." Says the teacher. So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?" Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims. "Correct again." Says the teacher. So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?" Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!"

Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly. Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan. Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.

A teacher:"John, I hope I won't see you're cheating." John:"Me either."

A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says: "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature. "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks: "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replies, "Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow."