Joke #3709

Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A rabbit went to the fortune-teller, “what do you see in my future?” asked the rabbit. “Very soon,” replied the fortune-teller, “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.” “That’s great!” said the rabbit, hopping up and down. “But when will I meet her?” “Next week in science class,” said the fortune-teller.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else". The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time". The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, dog
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
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has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, doctor, dog, money
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again? A dirty double-crosser!
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has 13.47 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why are cows made for dancing? They re all born hoofers.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
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has 83.33 % from 2268 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, dirty, gay
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby