Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 50 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him.” They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: “This bull mated 65 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also.” They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: “This bull mated 365 times last year.” The wife’s mouth drops open and says, “WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one.” The man turns to his wife and says, “Go up and see if it was 365 times with the same cow.”
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?" "I believe he's eating your lettuce."
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.