Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?" Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor." Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?" Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
What's the favourite flavour of sharks? Shark-o-late.
Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
Q: Why are tigers religious? A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!