Joke #3709

Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster. (Try saying that fast!)
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A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He’s still wriggling. What should I do?" "In the back of your truck there’s a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush." "So what’s the problem now?" his Boss snapped. "The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"
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has 77.43 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mechanic, work
What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.
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Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces.
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What's the difference between a tiger and a lion? A tiger has the mane part missing.
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Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
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What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
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Why couldn't the skunk use her phone? It was out of odor!
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How do snails get their shells all shiny? They use snail polish.
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