Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
Q: Why are tigers religious? A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
What do tigers wear in bed? Stripey pyjamas.