Joke #671

Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!
Vote:
has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
Vote:
has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, fish, game
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.
Vote:
has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
A young man named Joe bought a horse from a farmer for £250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse within the next few days. A couple of days later, the farmer drove up to Joe's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died." Joe replied, "Well, then just give me my money back." The farmer said, "Can't do that. I've spent it already." Joe said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse." The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with it?" Joe said, "I'm going to raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't flog a dead horse!" Joe said, "Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month Later, the farmer met up with Joe and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?" Joe said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £5 a piece and made a profit of £2495." The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?" Joe said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £5 back."
Vote:
has 81.91 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
Vote:
has 15.15 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote:
has 49.76 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
What is a bear's favourite drink? Koka-Koala.
Vote:
has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.  As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."  The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."  The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.  The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.  Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."  The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
Vote:
has 84.69 % from 583 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, duck, hunting, lawyer
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
Vote:
has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, food