What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
(A drizzly bear!)
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Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt?
Tricera-bottoms.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Why are rabbits like calculators?
They both multiply a lot.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
Vote:
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned:
"That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied:
"That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Beef-flat!
Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.