What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
(A drizzly bear!)
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Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.
What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place.
A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal.
Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
What happened to the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride!
Why can’t elephants go on the beach?
Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve.
A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?"
Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?"
"I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!"
"Help me please, please help!"
Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm.
He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing."
The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck".
The bloke looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"