What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
(A drizzly bear!)
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Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?
A: A receding hare line.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini?
A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper?
Warren.
The seven dwarves are in Rome and they go on a tour of the city.
After a while they go to the Vatican and meet the Pope.
Grumpy, for once, seems to have a lot to say.
He keeps asking the Pontiff questions about the church and, in particular, the nuns.
"Your Holiness, do you have any really short nuns?" Grumpy asks.
"No, my son, all of our nuns are at least five feet tall," smiles the Pope.
"Are you sure? I mean, you wouldn't have any nuns that are, say, about my height? Maybe a little shorter?"
"I'm afraid not. Why do you ask?"
"No reason," replies Grumpy.
"But you're positive? Nobody in a habit that's about three feet tall, maybe two-and-a-half feet tall?"
"I'm sure, my vertically-challenged son," says the Pope, trying not show his curiosity.
"Okay," moans Grumpy.
So the Pope listens to the dwarves as they leave the building.
"What'd he say? What'd he say?" chant the other six dwarves.
Grumpy mutters, "He said they don't have any."
And the other six start chanting, "Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin!"
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Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."
Q:Why did the cow cross the road?
A:To go to the moo-vies.
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.
The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."
The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."