What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
(A drizzly bear!)
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Did you hear about the snobby cow?
She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming.
Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit.
We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly."
"How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Kanga.
Kanga who?
Actually, it's kangaroo!
Vote:
Q: What is a crowbar?
A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smellicopter.
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.
The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom.
She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her.
They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.
Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating.
She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."
Baby Rabbit: "Mommy, where did I come from?"
Mother Rabbit: "I ll tell you when you re older."
Baby Rabbit: "Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now."
Mother Rabbit: "If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat."